Please welcome Joe Cosentino as he shares about his newest release!
A Different Kind of Family Vacation
by Joe Cosentino on the release of his Drama Castle,
the seventh Nicky and Noah mystery
Have you ever had a wild and wonderful family vacation? I’ve had many of them. So I decided to set the seventh Nicky and Noah mystery during a riotous and murderous vacation for Nicky Abbondanza and his extended family. College theatre professors/spouses Nicky and Noah pack up their adopted son Taavi and Noah’s doting parents and head to Scotland to live like royalty in a real 1700’s castle complete with moat, turrets, fireplaces, knight in armor, and coat of arms surrounded by a turquoise lake swirling through an emerald-green meadow and a steep cliff towering over the white-capped ocean. However, all isn’t as calm as a violet field of heather. After all, this is a Nicky and Noah mystery loaded with comic antics and five murders.
For those of you who haven’t yet guffawed and gasped through the Nicky and Noah mysteries, the clues and murders (and laughs) come fast and furious, and there are enough plot twists and turns and a surprise ending to keep the pages turning faster than a conservative politician removing environmental protection laws (as Nicky would say). Reviewers called the series hysterically funny farce, Murder She Wrote meets Hart to Hart meets The Hardy Boys, and captivating whodunits. One reviewer wrote they are the funniest books she’s ever read! No argument here.
In Drama Queen (Divine Magazine’s Readers’ Choice Award for Favorite LGBT Mystery, Humorous, and Contemporary Novel of the Year) Nicky directs the school play at Treemeadow College—which is named after its gay founders, Tree and Meadow. Theatre professors drops like stage curtains, and Nicky and Noah have to use their theatre skills, including impersonating other people, to figure out whodunit.
In Drama Muscle (Rainbow Award Honorable Mention) Nicky and Noah don their gay Holmes and Watson personas again to find out why bodybuilding students and professors in Nicky’s bodybuilding competition at Treemeadow are dropping faster than barbells. In Drama Cruise it is summer on a ten-day cruise from San Francisco to Alaska and back. Nicky and Noah must figure out why college theatre professors are dropping like life rafts as Nicky directs a murder mystery dinner theatre show onboard ship starring Noah and other college theatre professors from across the US. Complicating matters are their both sets of wacky parents who want to embark on all the activities on and off the boat with the handsome couple.
In Drama Luau, Nicky is directing the luau show at the Maui Mist Resort and he and Noah need to figure out why muscular Hawaiian hula dancers are dropping like grass skirts. Their department head/best friend and his husband, Martin and Ruben, are along for the bumpy tropical ride.
In Drama Detective, Nicky is directing and ultimately co-starring with his husband Noah as Holmes and Watson in a new musical Sherlock Holmes play at Treemeadow College prior to Broadway. Martin and Ruben, their sassy office assistant Shayla, Nicky’s brother Tony, and Nicky and Noah’s son Taavi are also in the cast. Of course dead bodies begin falling over like hammy actors at a curtain call. Once again Nicky and Noah use their drama skills to figure out who is lowering the street lamps on the actors before the handsome couple get half-baked on Baker Street.
In Drama Fraternity, Nicky is directing Tight End Scream Queen, a slasher movie filmed at Treemeadow College’s football fraternity house, co-starring Noah, Taavi, and Martin. Rounding out the cast are members of Treemeadow’s Christian football players’ fraternity along with two hunky screen stars. When the jammer, wide receiver, and more begin fading out with their scenes, Nicky and Noah once again need to use their drama skills to figure out who is sending young hunky actors to the cutting room floor before Nicky and Noah hit the final reel.
Now in Drama Castle, Nicky is directing a historical film co-starring Noah and Taavi at Conall Castle in Scotland: When the Wind Blows Up Your Kilt It’s Time for A Scotch. Rounding out the cast are members of the mysterious Conall family who own the castle. When hunky men in kilts topple off the drawbridge and into the moat, it’s up to Nicky and Noah to use their acting skills to figure out whodunit before Nicky and Noah land in the dungeon. Nicky and Noah are joined by their best friends and fan favorites Martin and Ruben, and by Noah’s eccentric parents. And book seven adds a number of captivating new characters like Brody Naughton, the hunky head of Housekeeping with a red beard and roving eye for the oldest Conall brother, Barclay, and for Donal Blair a waiter in the castle’s Great Hall dining room. Each of the three hunky Conall brothers (Barclay, Magnus, and Fergus) have a surprising secret, and Noah makes a shocking revelation.
It is my joy and pleasure to share this seventh novel in the series with you. So take your seats. The curtain is going up on steep cliffs, ancient turrets, stormy seas, misty moors, malfunctioning kilts, and murder!
DRAMA CASTLE (the seventh Nicky and Noah mystery)
a comedy/mystery/romance novel by JOE COSENTINO
Theatre professor Nicky Abbondanza is directing a historical film at a castle in Scotland, co-starring his spouse, theatre professor Noah Oliver, and their son Taavi. When historical accuracy disappears along with hunky men in kilts, Nicky and Noah will once again need to use their drama skills to figure out who is pitching residents of Conall Castle off the drawbridge and into the moat, before Nicky and Noah land in the dungeon. You will be applauding and shouting Bravo for Joe Cosentino’s fast-paced, side-splittingly funny, edge-of-your-seat entertaining seventh novel in this delightful series. Take your seats. The curtain is going up on steep cliffs, ancient turrets, stormy seas, misty moors, malfunctioning kilts, and murder!
Praise for the Nicky and Noah mysteries:
“Joe Cosentino has a unique and fabulous gift. His writing is flawless, and his use of farce, along with his convoluted plot-lines, will have you guessing until the very last page, which makes his books a joy to read. His books are worth their weight in gold, and if you haven’t discovered them yet you are in for a rare treat.” Divine Magazine
“a combination of Laurel and Hardy mixed with Hitchcock and Murder She Wrote…
Loaded with puns and one-liners…Right to the end, you are kept guessing, and the conclusion still has a surprise in store for you.” “the best modern Sherlock and Watson in books today…I highly recommend this book and the entire series, it’s a pure pleasure, full of fun and love, written with talent and brio…fabulous…brilliant” Optimumm Book Reviews
“adventure, mystery, and romance with every page….Funny, clever, and sweet….I can’t find anything not to love about this series….This read had me laughing and falling in love….Nicky and Noah are my favorite gay couple.” Urban Book Reviews
“For fans of Joe Cosentino’s hilarious mysteries, this is another vintage story with more cheeky asides and sub plots right left and centre….The story is fast paced, funny and sassy. The writing is very witty with lots of tongue-in-cheek humour….Highly recommended.” Boy Meets Boy Reviews
“This delightfully sudsy, colorful cast of characters would rival that of any daytime soap opera, and the character exchanges are rife with sass, wit and cagey sarcasm….As the pages turn quickly, the author keeps us hanging until the startling end.” Edge Media Network
“A laugh and a murder, done in the style we have all come to love….This had me from the first paragraph….Another wonderful story with characters you know and love!” Crystals Many Reviewers
“These two are so entertaining….Their tactics in finding clues and the crazy funny interactions between characters keeps the pages turning. For most of the book if I wasn’t laughing I was grinning.” Jo and Isa Love Books
“Superb fun from start to finish, for me this series gets stronger with every book and that’s saying something because the benchmark was set so very high with book 1.” Three Books Over the Rainbow
“The Nicky and Noah Mysteries series are perfect for fans of the Cozy Mystery sub-genre. They mix tongue-in-cheek humor, over-the-top characters, a wee bit of political commentary, and suspense into a sweet little mystery solved by Nicky and Noah, theatre professors for whom all the world’s a stage.” Prism Book Alliance
“This is one hilarious series with a heart and it just keeps getting better. I highly recommend them all, and please read them in the order they were written for full blown laugh out loud reading pleasure!” Scattered Thoughts and Rogue Words
Bestselling author Joe Cosentino was voted Favorite LGBT Mystery, Humorous, and Contemporary Author of the Year by the readers of Divine Magazine for Drama Queen. He also wrote the other novels in the Nicky and Noah mystery series: Drama Muscle, Drama Cruise, Drama Luau, Drama Detective, Drama Fraternity, Drama Castle; the Dreamspinner Press novellas: In My Heart/An Infatuation & A Shooting Star, A Home for the Holidays, The Perfect Gift, The First Noel, The Naked Prince and Other Tales from Fairyland with Holiday Tales from Fairyland, the Cozzi Cove series: Cozzi Cove: Bouncing Back, Cozzi Cove: Moving Forward, Cozzi Cove: Stepping Out, Cozzi Cove: New Beginnings, Cozzi Cove: Happy Endings (NineStar Press); and the Jana Lane mysteries: Paper Doll, Porcelain Doll, Satin Doll, China Doll, Rag Doll (The Wild Rose Press). He has appeared in principal acting roles in film, television, and theatre, opposite stars such as Bruce Willis, Rosie O’Donnell, Nathan Lane, Holland Taylor, and Jason Robards. Joe is currently Chair of the Department/Professor at a college in upstate New York, and he is happily married. Joe was voted 2nd Place Favorite LGBT Author of the Year in Divine Magazine’s Readers’ Choice Awards, and his books have received numerous Favorite Book of the Month Awards and Rainbow Award Honorable Mentions.
Web site: http://www.JoeCosentino.weebly.com
Excerpt of Drama Castle, the seventh Nicky and Noah mystery, by Joe Cosentino
Ainsley Conall, the thirty-five-year-old lord of the manor, stood on the grassy moor surveying his property. He watched the mist spread to the nearby golden cliff, emerald mountains, and white-capped turquoise sea. His tunic, kilt, hose, and shoulder cloak matched the tall, strapping man’s long auburn hair and striking emerald eyes. The leather sporran hanging from a chain over the impressive lump at his groin proudly bore the Conall family crest—three lions. As he rested his size-ten leather brogue on a rock, Ainsley proudly gazed out at the ancient lighthouse, old abbey, and most importantly Conall Castle standing majestically in the distance. This was his heritage, his pride, and his joy.
An eastern wind blew the kilt up his back, exposing his melon-like bubble butt.
“Cut! We’ll save that for the blooper reel.”
I always wanted to say that. But I didn’t think I’d be uttering those words on a mountaintop at the northernmost tip of Scotland. I’m Nicky Abbondanza, Associate Professor of Play Directing at Treemeadow College, a private college plagued by murder in scenic Vermont. How did I get to Scotland, the land of men in kilts? After directing a play at Treemeadow College that moved to Broadway, I helmed a slasher film, which to nobody’s surprise was ignored by the Academy Award voters. However, Barclay Conell, the owner of Conell Castle and Hotel in Scotland, caught it while scrolling through one-star instant-play movies on his computer. It wasn’t so much that Barclay was impressed with my artistry. The film’s low budget and one-week production schedule caught the green in his eyes. You see Barclay was also the author of The Lord of the Castle, a five-hundred-and-thirty-eight-page novel that could turn an insomniac into Rip Van Winkle. Propelled by his novel’s high local sales, Barclay decided a film adaptation was in order—even when a local fisherman confessed he had bought up all the novels as gifts for unsuspecting fishermen in hopes of sinking the competition’s ships. When Barclay’s emails to Z-list celebrities went unanswered, undaunted in his cinematic pursuit, Barclay decided to star in the film version himself—playing his 1745 ancestor, Ainsley Conall. His wife, Moira (an unemployed actress currently working as his desk clerk), finally got an acting gig as Ainsley’s devoted wife. For reality sake, and to keep peace in the family, Barclay’s middle brother, Magnus (the hotel’s accountant), was cast as Ainsley’s middle brother and pal, Archibald. Finally, Barclay’s youngest brother, Fergus (the hotel’s restaurant manager), didn’t have much of a stretch to play Ainsley’s youngest brother and little buddy, Angus. And to keep the budget anemic, Lairie Naughton, the fourteen-year-old daughter of the hotel’s head of Housekeeping, was slated for the role of the devoted young maid, Aggie.
Barclay took no reservations at the hotel for a week in June and made me an offer I couldn’t refuse: a four-figure salary, a film budget as thin as a vegan with a malfunctioning juicer, and a one-week shooting schedule. How could I say no? So, I continued the casting by adding my ten-year-old adopted son from Hawaii, Taavi, as Ainsley’s adored son, Roddy. Before a divorce was threatened, I hired my husband of four years, Assistant Professor of Acting at Treemeadow College, Noah Oliver, to play Roddy’s noble tutor, Oliver, and to serve as the film’s acting coach. I decided to cast the smaller roles once we got to the castle.
There was the small, or not so small, matter of the film adaptation. Barclay’s attempt was as ponderous and heavy (pun intended) as his novel. So, my best friend and department head, Professor of Theatre Management Martin Anderson, wrote the screenplay, or as Ruben Markinson, Martin’s husband and our producer, said, “the foul-play.” With the excitement of a conservative politician nixing environmental laws, Martin went to work loading the script with scandal, seduction, and assassination. Try saying that three times fast. His new title: When the Wind Blows Up Your Kilt, You Need a Scotch.