Tag Archives: Walk A Mile

Tougher Than You Think You Are…

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Rosie the RiveterI’m not one typically given to having epiphanies.

My shifts in perspective tend not to come in a sudden toppling of brick and mortar, allowing me to see a path that was previously closed to me. I don’t usually pop up crying ‘Eureka!’ at a radical alteration of thought patterns. Things are more likely to percolate through my subconscious, rising slowly to the surface where they occasionally escape the treacle of my thoughts. When it happens with a story, it’s delightful, and I hurry to grab my notebook and jot the ideas down before I lose my grasp of their ephemeral nature.

But sometimes, my thoughts coalesce into one big bubble that bursts through the surface tension in my brain and I get that bright light bulb moment.

This morning started out in a typical fashion for me. I woke, recognizing that my To-Do list for the day was far too ambitious (as usual) and that I would have to eliminate all but the most important things to accomplish even a tenth of what I had planned. I got my final edits for Walk a Mile in my inbox last night–working on that has to take priority today.

I resisted the urge to sleep in that extra half hour and took the dog for a run in the forest instead. We have to get out early to beat the heat these days. It had rained during the night, and the air was as steamy as a tropical jungle as we left the house this morning. When we reached the top of the mountain, it was shrouded in fog. We were the only ones on the access road as we drove into the National Forest. I let H out of the car and put on my hiking boots. We started walking down the road toward the trails.

Wooden Bridge and HSpending some time outdoors, preferably each day, is absolutely necessary to my mental health. Watching the dog frisk ahead of me on the trail makes me smile, and often my mind is free to brainstorm on my stories. Frequently, I take pictures of wildflowers, the dog, and anything else that I want to capture as a digital memory. It’s all very low key and imminently soothing. I consider trail time vital, in other words.

So here we were, enjoying the summer morning, while I thought about what I was going to do with the rest of my day. Keeping one eye on the dog, I went over my To-Do list, planning the best way to get the most accomplished. I also spent some time thinking about my writing in general, and where I wanted to go with it in the future. Which stories to work on next. What was tugging at my heart to begin and where the path might take me on down the line.

H’s head suddenly came up, and he went very stiff. I tried to make out what caught his attention–a jogger? A deer? Either way, I needed to call him to me before whatever it was made its way around the corner. Normally, H has an excellent recall, and he was on his way back to me when a black bear ambled into view.

black bearI think the bear and I both had an ‘oh shit’ moment at the same instant. It was a young adult, about the size of a large calf. Probably last year’s cub now out on its own, though I couldn’t be sure there wasn’t a Mama Bear somewhere around. No, I didn’t take this picture! But that’s what he looked like! 🙂

H glanced back to see the bear standing in the path and took off like an arrow after it. Silently. The silent part is important, because when H chases a deer, he shrieks with excitement the entire time. Not so with the bear. He flew like a guided missile straight at the bear, and the very silence of his movement bore witness to his intensity of purpose. I knew it. The bear knew it, too. He turned tail and ran.

I ran, too, after my dog, bellowing his name and shouting, “Leave it! Leave it!” as I chased him down. All I had to defend him was a dog leash–I snatched it out of my back pocket and folded it so I could leash-whip the bear if needed. Fortunately I didn’t have to pull a bear off my dog–H came trotting back to me with what could only be described as an extremely smug look on his face. The bear had taken to his heels and kept running.

Flat Topped MushroomDeciding to head back to the car in case there were bigger, less cowardly bears out there, I spied a cool mushroom on the side of the trail and stopped to take this picture of it with my cell phone.

Then it hit me. Less than three minutes before, I’d just encountered a bear for the first time in my life. I’d been prepared to beat it with my dog’s leash if necessary to separate it from my dog. And here I was, casually snapping pictures with my cell phone. I recalled last year how I trapped a copperhead that was in the camp and safely transported it to the other side of the river (you try wading in waist-high freezing water with a copperhead in a trash can, it’s not as easy as it sounds). That’s when it dawned on me that I’m a lot tougher than I think I am.

In that moment, I realized that I will always have options because I am a lot tougher than I think I am. I’ve always been brave when it comes to physical things–I’ve always trusted my body to do what I’ve asked of it, which is one reason I’m taking its defection over the last few years kind of hard. Where my courage has been lacking is in all other areas. Believing that there is value in what I bring to to the table, be it in writing, or work, or love. In that moment, however, I went from “You’re tougher than you think you are” to “I’m tough.”

I knew then I could do it. Because not two seconds after the words ‘I’m tough’ hit my brain, I heard myself saying, “You don’t have to life a conventional life.” And you know what? I don’t. Not that I live a conventional life anyway, but hells bells, I might as well go for broke, right?

Micro HouseI can do whatever is necessary. So my crappy little house disintegrates around me because I can’t afford the massive repairs necessary to make it safe? Fine. I have a couple of acres. I can build one of those micro-houses and I’ll be better off than if I pour any more money into the financial black hole that I currently live in. Hell, I could even plant a garden next year. I know the thought of growing and cooking my own food makes those of you who know me well laugh, and yes, I’ll probably suck at it, but if I have to, I know I can.

It’s not the actual circumstances that are as demoralizing as the crushing fear that there will never be any way out of them. I’ve always been the Queen of Worst Case Scenarios, and they’ve had the power to shackle me my entire life. But nothing that I’m going through is as bad as what I imagine it could be. I was ready to take on a bear this morning. I can take on the world.

I can do this. I’ve got it covered. I’m tough.

 

 

A short Halloween Scene with the boys from Crying for the Moon

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jackolanternTalk about embarrassing! I’d completely forgotten that my post as part of Merissa McCain‘s Paranormal Month was up today until I got emails and tweets about it! *redface*

I’ve been swamped with obligations recently, definitely a case of biting off more than I could chew. It’s a problem I struggle with on a frequent basis. Right now, I’m gearing up for a major blog tour–I’ve written 8 blog posts and done 3 interviews for it, and I still have interviews and blog posts to host here. All while writing the sequel to Unspeakable Words, which is tentatively titled Walk A Mile. I broke the 50 K mark on it yesterday, and have at least 30 K to go. I’m hoping to get it done by the end of November as sort of an unofficial Nano project. 🙂

But it has made me very lax about joining in on conversations here and there, especially in cases like Paranormal Month, and in some of my friend’s blog tours. Susan MacNicol is touring with her newest bestselling M/M romance, Saving Alexander, and will be stopping by here later in November. I’m also hosting Draven St. James‘s new release Scent of a Wolf in early November. So, yeah, I probably shouldn’t have taken on something else on top of that! I love October, however, and Halloween. I love fall leaves and glowing pumpkins (and everything pumpkin, for that matter!). I love tall boots and leather coats and the hint of mystery in the air. It’s hard for me to refuse something like Paranormal Month! I’ve been terribly remiss about commenting on other people’s posts on Merissa’s blog, however, so I can’t expect people to turn out for mine. You’d be doing me a big favor if you’d go check them out, though!

CryingMoon_pr2And if you’d like to read a little short scene I wrote last year featuring Alex and Tate from Crying for the Moon, that’s posted here today. Crying for the Moon was a recommended read by jessewave reviews for August 2011, and a winner of a Recommend Read Award by Coffee Times Romance. It also was first runner-up in the Love Romances and More Golden Rose Awards for 2011 for best paranormal romance. Recently it was listed as one of the top 15 paranormal M/M romances written in the last three years by review Lasha for jessewave.There are two sequels planned, you know, in my copious free time. 😉

Which is why I plan to downscale my activity here and abroad until I can get some of these stories written!

 

The Best Way to Sell Stories is to Feed the Beast…

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I’ve had better mornings. I had to meet a client with an emergency on my day off, and I just got a phone call from the garage where I left my car for inspection and I’m going to need $700 worth of work in order to pass. I went to make ‘feel sorry for me’ cheese and garlic biscuits for a late breakfast, and I discovered I was all out of biscuit mix. And stuck at home with no car.

BrowniesI made brownies instead.

Yeah, it’s been that kind of morning. Well, week, really. Okay, month.

As of today, I will have spent over $1400 on the car this month to keep it running–last week, I had a flat tire on the way to work that necessitated buying an entire new set without being able to shop around for the best price. I’ve been trying my best to get new health insurance coverage but the national website is such a piece of crap that not even my IT boyfriend can get my identity verified. A word of advice, GOP. If you’d just shut up and sat on your hands a bit longer (like you normally do) you wouldn’t have had to shut down the government to stop Obamacare. The website alone will do that and you wouldn’t have terminally shot yourself in the foot in the meantime.

Too bad I’d rather that the GOP shot itself in the foot AND that I had health care coverage. I have until Nov 1 to get through on the national site and pick another plan, or else I will be forced to decide whether to let my coverage go or sell a body part in order to pay my premium. Because yeah, the car and the health care payment cost roughly the same.

Which is why, though I don’t plan on making a habit of it, brownies for lunch seemed like a fine idea to me.

Because sometimes, you just need chocolate. As usual, this got me thinking about writing (What? Doesn’t *everything* lead to writing in the end?) and what kind of ‘food’ I provide. Nourishing? Not hardly. But will it get you through a bad day? Yes. Oh yes.

I thought about the emails I’ve received from readers who tell me that reading my stories helps take them out of themselves for a few hours, to make them unaware of the pain for a while, be it physical or emotional. These are people who hurt all the time. Some have chronic injuries or illnesses. Others struggle to work full time jobs and care for ailing parents, or small children, or both. Others have just had a crappy day in which the boss yelled at them again, or they found out their hours are being cut.

Sometimes you just need a plate of brownies, still gooey from the warm oven. Sometimes you need a story that won’t necessarily challenge your brain, even if it makes you think. A story that hurts so good when you’re reading it, but you know it’s going to turn out all right in the end and that’s the whole reason you picked up this book by this author because that’s exactly what you needed right now. Dialog with sparks to make you laugh and care about these characters, and an ending that feels just like that warm brownie now residing in your stomach. Yeah. Like that.

I was talking with my critique group this past weekend, and the subject of making a living as writers came up. In short, there seems to be only two ways of doing so. You either get lucky and have a runaway bestseller like 50 Shades of Grey, or you write a lot, publish often, build a loyal readership–and feed them. Feed them often.

Just this morning, I was speaking with someone on Facebook about the likelihood of my making it to one of the writer’s conventions this year, and the answer is no, it’s not likely.  I can’t justify the cost in terms of return on investment. As much as I would love to go to one of the big conventions (or hell, even a little one!) I simply can’t afford it right now. Where I need to concentrate my time is on the next book, the next story. If I’m only producing one story a year, no one is even going to remember my name. Time enough to worry about networking (and just plain having a blast!) when I have something to promote.

Now wait a minute! I can hear you saying, “No, no, Sarah, you’re doing it all wrong! Networking is how you build your audience!” Well, yes and no. I can tell you right now that if I had back the hours I spent frittering around on Facebook, Twitter, Live Journal andTumblr, I could have written another novel this year. Granted, I frittered away that time in part because I wasn’t in a mind-set to do any real writing, but frittering is an insidious habit. It’s addictive, this social media thing. This desire to always be in connection with people all over the world more than the people in the same room with you. And when I was writing fanfic, I produced a novella a month–and did no promotion at all. People found my work because they told each other about it and I made friends with them *after* they found my work. So yeah, I think the key here to making the party happy is to keep baking brownies.

Spring Porch CatsI’ve written on the subject before, but I came across another good post on writing more and talking less. Actually, I might get my own words put to the test in the near future as I find myself with more time than ever to write and not enough money to pay the bills. It’s going to be interesting times around here, folks, in the Chinese curse sort of way. I’m still relatively calm about it, but that may be because I am full of brownies at the moment. 🙂 Still, I think it is important for me to pull back now and take my own advice on writing more and talking less. Making more brownies, so to speak. Putting out plates of food for the hungry fans and feeding them. Heck, you don’t ever have to LOOK for stray cats. They show up, you feed them, and more appear. I think that’s how it’s really done. 🙂

The Boys of Summer400x600It could also be because I found out today that the cover for The Boys of Summer has made it to round three of voting in the Rainbow Cover Awards! Well, look at it, it’s a fabulous cover, right? It deserves to keep going! So trot over to the website and look at all the lovely covers and vote for your favorites! You might even find some books to add to your TBR list–I know I have! This contest is for covers only, this is separate from the 2013 Rainbow Awards, for which The Boys of Summer is also a finalist! The winners on that awards list will be announced sometime in December.

Merissa McCain‘s Paranormal Month continues with guest posts from various authors. I’ve been sadly remiss in participating here; I feel badly about this, but I am terribly over-committed at the moment. I’ve been furiously writing blog posts and answering interview questions for my blog tour that starts in December–I have so much to do before my deadlines! Here are the latest links on her website, however. Do go and join in the conversations over there. You’d be doing me a big favor! The newest posts are from Jordan K. Rose and Jane Wakely. I have a post coming up on Oct 30th, if you’re keeping track.

UnspeakableWordsThe other bit of ‘make me smile’ news is that I received a wonderful review for Unspeakable Words by Christy Duke for The Rainbow Book Reviews! One of the delightful things she said was that she hoped for a sequel! Well, I’m working hard on that as we speak. I’m about halfway through the first draft and let me tell you, I’ve done terrible things to the boys. *rubs hands together evilly* But rest assured, like that plate of brownies, Walk a Mile will leave you with a warm feeling in the end.

But in order to get there, I need to write. That’s been hard for me this past year, but it is getting easier. The  more I work at it, the easier it gets, like getting water to flow from a rusty pipe. You might not want to drink it at first, but eventually it runs cool and clear. So yeah, less talk. More writing. It doesn’t mean I don’t want to hear from you. It means I want to hear less from me.

At least, not until I have something cool to say. 😉